This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
