Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
