I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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