eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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