I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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