I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Terrible idea I love it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He did a backflip because drugs
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
