So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
