then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just threw up on my dentist
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
