I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize