I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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