So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
