Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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