I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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