My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
