Buhtt sex?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just gargled with NyQuil
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
