as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You are a genius and a whore.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
