hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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