A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
