..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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