PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
