i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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