hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
