She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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