I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Sponge bath it is.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
