so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
