I looked at my own cervix.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
