And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
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Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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