he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
