Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
