making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
