just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize