Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
