Your tits are I can't wait for
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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