he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
