I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
