We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
