Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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