So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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