I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
the raccoons are back...
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