Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
