The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He shit in the fireplace
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
