marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
