guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
