Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
