Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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