He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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