i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
