i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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