she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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