even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
