Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
