oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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