I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't deserve a penis
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
