ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize