I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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