Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
