How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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