she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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