I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
