i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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